From+My+Heart

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 FROM MY HEART   I am so happy to be finished with my wiki! The feeling I have is like lying on a bed of cool, soft grass on a hot summer night watching all the colors of the rainbow explode in a succession of the most beautiful, sparkling fireworks ever. A feeling of relief as one part fades, of excitement as the next illuminates, and an overall sense of pure joy and creative release.

Putting the wiki together was so much work, I can’t believe it. I have a habit of forgetting how much time things take once they are finished, but I can’t remember working harder in any class. I also have a habit of never being truly finished with anything I create, because every time I revisit a project, I see new things I want to do with it. So, I fully expect to continue to play with my wiki for, well, maybe forever.

Which brings me to my first reflection: What am I most proud of as a result of doing my product? First, I am most proud of the product itself. Such a //lot// of work, and I am actually happy with the way it looks. I am proud that I did not give up. When the technology wasn’t behaving or I couldn’t find exactly the sound byte I wanted, I didn’t just grab whatever I stumbled on first because it was easiest, but I kept working at it until I got just what I was looking for.

What have I learned about myself as a result of this project? I have learned that I can count on myself to be someone who still obsesses over doing well and who tries to force things when a better approach is to just relax and let things flow, but who eventually puts it all together just in time to make the deadline. I learned that most times I really do need the pressure of the deadline to do my best work. I learned that I like to hoard the minutiae before finally splashing them into a big picture, so I needed to experience several weeks of this class before I had a vision of what my finished wiki might look like. I also learned that I love learning about technology and learning new applications for technology. I am so excited to figure out ways to use all the programs we’ve learned in this class, whether in my personal or professional life, and to commit myself to keeping on top of new innovations.

What have I learned about being a teacher from writing my unit? One important thing I learned is that some of those kids I teach who are sitting idle, claiming they are “just thinking,” when I accuse them of goofing around to avoid the project, may really be //thinking!// Every Sunday evening when the new wiki assignment came out, I’d run through the pages to give myself a quick overview of what it was going to involve, then I’d just sit. Not doing anything that anybody else would see as particularly productive, but my mind was whirling. Then I’d get up and go about my life, not demonstrating anything much that had anything to do with the wiki, but internally obsessing over it. Then, a couple of days later I would go back to the computer and focus on all of the materials included in the assignment: watch the YouTubes, the screencasts, etc., but still I didn’t go to my wiki and actually //do anything// to it. For several days, I’d think, I’d google, I’d listen, I’d think some more, I’d download, I’d write. Just a few minutes here, or maybe an hour or two there. Then on Friday night or Saturday, I’d sit down and pull all the pieces together and actually //work on the wiki.// It took me a whole week of just thinking to get to that place. This exercise reminded me that the creative process doesn’t start just because a student finishes reading the assignment; it has to develop. I also learned that writing a unit is a lot of work and needs time to evolve, too, so I’d better start way in advance of when I expect to use it!

What would I do differently? As far as the end product goes, the only thing I would do differently is be more mindful of file sizes. I had so much fun building my PowerPoint presentation, but by the time it was done, the file was so large that it was problematic. One of these days, I may revise it and shrink it down so it's more manageable. As for the process, I wish I would have relaxed more and worried less. It really was possible to get everything done, although most of the time I didn’t believe it.

A reflection from my heart would not be complete without a huge thanks to you, Dr. Stocker. This class is one of the most useful I can remember. When I look back over the territory we have covered, I am amazed. I don’t know about the other students, but I hadn’t had any experience with probably 90% of what you taught us. That you were able to convey so much information entirely online, no less, in a way that ended in the creation of such an impressive product is truly to be commended! Thanks very much for all your encouragement. It’s been a lot of fun! 